Finding Authentic Strength

According to the American Cancer Society’s Cancer Statistics Center, osteosarcoma is not a common cancer, but approximately 1,000 new cases are diagnosed in the U.S. each year. Here is my story as one of many who have survived osteosarcoma and live with other disabilities.

At thirteen years old I underwent chemotherapy treatment for osteosarcoma. I lost part of my hearing and developed tinnitus. I had my tibia and femur replaced with titanium, and my hair was scruffy and falling out. I would proudly tell people, “Oh you know, I’m the real-life Wolverine”.

After surviving osteosarcoma and then melanoma at six years old, I can best describe my young adult life as a lot to process. The idea of becoming a filmmaker was foreign to me. As a result, I never took any real steps toward my goals because I was afraid of failure. As an athlete and sports enthusiast, I was in denial about my incapacity to play sports and stay active. 

I became a professional dancer and personal trainer in my early 20s, which was ultimately very defeating for me. Despite that, I had no choice but to move forward. As a result of my second reconstructive surgery in 2015, I dedicated myself to the arts and learned how to express myself through storytelling. 

Following graduation from St. Thomas University, I worked as an assistant to Ian Cion, Director of M.D. Arts and Medicine Program.  Anderson Cancer Center produced projects in several mediums including a digital mural, a life-size sea dragon named Akoa, displayed in the Museum of Fine Arts Houston, and space suits that were worn by astronauts on the International Space Station. 

I love working and I’m so curious and eager to learn. It seems that some of my coworkers over the years have thought I was “extra” or “overachiever.” There’s been a pattern that I’m attempting to break. A new challenge awaits me at my new job. I’m excited about it. During my work, I started to notice how my disability affects my ability to perform the tasks. To hide it, I overcompensate. Suddenly, I think my boss has noticed me. It is not uncommon for people to make what they believe are innocent jokes without realizing the truth behind them. Suddenly, I begin to question everything. It makes me feel defeated. As of recently, I have been more open about my disability, and most people have been very kind to me. But, when you can’t hear and you aren’t sure what people are saying, it can get to your head. I’m excited to be a part of helping the world start to accept people for their differences and even see them as a strength.

However, with osteosarcoma being a rare form of cancer, I’ve had a difficult time getting in touch with mentors who have a similar experience to me. But I believe that we can relate to others who feel similarly. I try to find athletes, celebrities, and fictional characters who have had similar experiences to lift my mindset. Being that Steven Spielberg has ADHD, The Sound of Metal, Last of Us movie, and many other films have given me insight into what it’s like to be difficult to hear or deaf and the characters in the X-Men universe use what makes them different as their strength. 

Recently, I had an experience when I revealed to a co-worker that I had hearing loss, and they said, “Well this probably isn’t the best job for you.” I told them that with a disability, no job is the “right job.” What matters is that I do my best and that my boss believes in me.

Hearing loss, mobility limitations, physical pain, and another reconstructive surgery always just a few years away can feel impossible. I must focus on my creative expression and inspiring friends to keep going.

Currently, I am forced to tell the truth about my experiences rather than sugarcoat them. This does not mean I am angry. But I’ve been at this for 24 years. I don’t feel the need to prove that I’m a survivor, brave, “keeping it positive,” or “making the most of it” or anything else cliche cancer survivors say. I just want to be real. 

My mindset has also been that since I ended my treatment as a child, I have thought, “OK, now it’s time to live.” Once my cancer treatment is over, once we are out of the recession, once I recover from my reconstructive surgery, once the pandemic is over, once I find the perfect job, once I find the perfect partner. Then it will be time to live. There will never be a day when everything is perfect, and the time to live is now.

In recent years, I worked as a PA for the film Nothing Really Happens, which was awarded Best Feature Film at the Sci-fi London Film Festival. Currently, I am working with comedian Lahna Turner on a female comedy tour and a documentary about Ralphie May. Several other works on mines can be found in Original Short Stories By Katie Farmer, Akoa Water Dragon, Space Suit Project. Phenomenal Disabilities, and Bender Leadership Academy #notashamed provide examples of my advocacy and campaigning work for the community.

The Lights! Camera! Access! (LCA) Newsletter/Marketing Team has helped me feel connected rather than alone in my journey as a creative with disabilities, and I hope that my story can inspire others to do the same. Making big changes is possible when we combine our strengths.

The last thing I want to do is live in a dark environment. To be my authentic self, I feel challenged and empowered to acknowledge rather than suppress my struggles. It is so important to hear the voices and stories of so many people. In addition, I look forward to hearing new ideas and perspectives both as a creator and as a consumer.

Contact Information:

Website: Kate Farmer’s Art Portfolio ; Facebook: @katievocdofarmer; TikTok: Vesprcrest98